What makes it fiction
Is it because it exists outside of your experience
A perception of reality
Beyond what you've known
Is it less real
To believe
Something outside
Yourself
What if your life
is someone else's fiction
Your words
Betraying you
Your movements
guided
by another hand
Are you living a lie?
Do you hide behind it
Hoping they won't see
That you are more
Than what they know
What they believe
For fear that they will tell you
That you can't possibly be?
(Old apartment setup (~2017). We were in the habit of hanging works in progress throughout the house to make sure we worked on them more.)
I lightly referenced this in a post last year but to create a better outlined post, these are a small handful of the blog focal points that I want to be working on and posting about once we’ve moved. I’m still wrapping my head around the fact we’ll be across the country in about 10 days.
(Many of these lists will grow, this is just off the top of my head)
Art/Craft Resource Lists and DIY Tutorials
Paper making (both from recycled papers and how to prepare and use natural fibers)
Making your own pigments for inks, watercolor, gouache (and for dying clothes)
Creating your own dip pens and brushes
Clothing Patterns and ideas for sewing (along with other resources for stitching and embroidery)
Weaving with natural and recycled fibers
DIY clays for sculpting/etc.
Self Sustainability, Ethical Land Stewardship, and Community Building Resources
Create navigation posts for resource lists and links
Book Reviews/Suggestions
Posts w/ focus on native/indigenous plants and other beneficial flora/fauna
Seed (and food) sharing and swaps for edible plants and herbs
Local and Online Community Resources
A long overdue general Links Out/Resource page
Local Indigenous and BIPOC Businesses, Groups, and Resources
Local Queer Businesses, Groups, and Resources
General Local Small Business Spotlights
Spotlights on local community events
Behavioral
Book Reviews, Discussion, and Suggestions about animal behavior and mutually beneficial ecosystems
Book Reviews and discussion about mindfulness practices, neuroplasticity, healing from trauma, meditation and trance, somatic work, and general (healthy) behavioral work/modification
Personal Journals/Projects
Food Posts (and sometimes recipes)
Hike Posts (W/ Pictures of Flora & Fauna)
Art/Craft Projects and Plans
Blueprints for long-term goals
Possible blog for fiction (18+?)
We received confirmation this week about staying with a friend in their new space and will be heading to Nuwuvi (the Las Vegas area) in the middle of June.
Currently, I only have the funds to take what we can fit in the car but I’m hoping to come back for our storage unit before the end of the year.
(I miss you paintings and art and kitchen/home things! We’ll be reunited sooner than you think!!!)
We have a lot to do and I’m exhausted but also incredibly grateful to those who have helped and been kind to us and looking forward to this next chapter of life!
(livestream abstract warmup)
I’ve been thinking about ways to both motivate myself and push my creativity lately. In the past when I’ve committed to doing a sketch daily, I’ve varied in what my expectations were. What I’ve learned at this point is that outside of the parameter of creating something, I do best when I treat everything else as suggestions that are available to help me if I want them.
The idea I’m working with currently is when I want to, I can have different focal points throughout the week to keep myself practiced in different ways.
Suggested ideas so far are:
draw an animal (try something you haven’t done before!)
draw something you see in front of you
draw a portrait from photo reference (or of someone in front of you)
make something colorful
make something abstract
draw a background/landscape/scenery
draw flowers from reference
make a page of thumbnails for brainstorming bigger drawings/paintings
draw from your head (the default)
I’ve been setting up a couple secondary blogs and will be adding them to my navigation bar up top as I start using them (one will be for sketches and works in progress and the other will be a personal trance and meditation journal).
I’m not actually sure when I’ll start rolling with creating art every day (life will be chaotic the next handful of weeks as we pack and prepare to move) but I’m going to do what I can as I’m able for now.
I also have to think about the overlap between posting sketches and work here and on my patreon but that will sort itself out in time.
Thoughts. Lots of things.
Hello folks. Just making a few life update notes here because life has been chaotic!
I had my first unexpected local photography client a couple months ago! I haven’t advertised here (and hadn’t planned to) but it went so well that I just recently finished piecing together some ads/flyers to distribute here.
We found out this past week that we have until October to move from the house we’ve been staying (they are going to be housing someone else here). We’re still sorting things out and possibly have a place to stay (and may be leaving before October) but I will share more details when I know for sure!
To save money for moving expenses, I’ve been considering taking a brief NY trip (and staying with friends/family) if I can book a handful of clients in the area over the span of about a week in late May/early June. If you live in NY (or a nearby area to it) and have interest, feel free to check out my photo service pages here and/or send me an email ( encryptedritual@gmail.com )
I’ve been slowly piecing together updates to post here and would love to get rolling on more blogs as I’m capable. I’ve recently also started a twitch channel where I’ve mostly been streaming warmup abstract doodles and loose sketches.
I may update our old gofundme (I hadn’t come on since we had to sell the bus) but until then, if any folks would like to help with moving expenses (without commissioning/hiring me) you can gift via venmo (username @encryptedritual) or message for other ways/methods of helping out!
Regardless, I hope life is treating everyone well and I look forward to this next chapter of our journey!
Where have I been?
Where have I been?
I’m staring at my hands and then the table, back and forth. It’s all just slightly out of focus because I’m slipping in and out of this place, this body. There are little things that help but sometimes it’s like climbing a mountain with no gear. I sink so much energy into my breath, into the presents presence, and I still
Fall.
Thoughts come and go.
Still falling.
Sometimes things I want to forget.
It’s getting hard to breathe.
Sometimes nothing at all.
Where am I?
Feel the ground beneath my feet. Feel the ground. Feel itfeelitfeelit. Feel lit?
No.
Vines curl upward, wrap around my fingers. Squeeze. Pull me down.
Flowers breathe. Open and close. In light. In the dark.
Petals.
I’ve been working through a handful of both internal and external struggles lately. I recognize that I’ve not been posting or interacting much of anywhere, partly because to some degree I felt that if I had nothing polished/fleshed out to share that it wasn’t worth posting…honestly that’s a viewpoint that is very unlike me (what has been more like me is to share things, take them down, improve them, share again, and repeat - and honestly, I need to work on that as well).
So, my intentions are to start using this blog here more often, even if I’m sharing drafts and ideas as I develop them.
I will also be working to censor myself less, a habit that I’ve come to recognize comes from my upbringing and has caused varying levels of over-inhibiting many behaviors throughout my life. Expect that I may talk or show more openly things of an adult nature here or that might not be suitable for some folks.
I want to be as genuine and authentic both for myself and in my interactions with others. I am working to heal and hope in time to help others do the same.
For now, this is just some notes I made today about updates I’d like to work on here and elswhere. Small steps.
Hope all you lovely people are well.
-BB
July had a few expected and unexpected twists and turns.
I got my first speeding ticket (unfortunately because I didn’t notice the signs change - I generally drive like a turtle, haha) right before the month started. I spent a portion of the month trying to figure out how to pay the ticket but had it taken care of before August hit.
I’ve been working on finding a middle ground between the anxiety/stress of living in VA again (and living in a space that is not my own/most of my stuff still being in storage) and attempting to be at peace with the entire situation until I am able to move on. We are blessed to have the friends we do that have provided us shelter. Still, I’m tired but I’ve been actively pushing myself to meditate and be as mindful as I’m capable every day (both toward myself and toward other people).
Muddy and I had our anniversa-week (that we extended to be most of the month). We’ve been together since 2008 and that’s still kind of mind boggling and filled with a lot of layers.
I applied for a job a little more than a week into July and started working about midway through. I liked the work but it’s too hard on my knees and it requires a faster pace than I’m capable of so my last day is this upcoming Friday (This will be the shortest amount of time I’ve ever stayed at a job before but I need to listen to my body). I’m actively looking for other work to hold me over until I either build a client base here or am able to start pulling income in online.
I dedicated a big chunk of the month to taking self portraits, which is something I rarely ever do and I really like a handful of them. I’ve decided I’m going to look through and pick out my favorite 30 and post them as an entry on here in the upcoming weeks. I’ve also been trickling a handful onto the online “cane-yo” group, a telegram/instagram/etc community where artists post references for one another to use.
I tried a “brownie in a mug” recipe that Muddy and I have been having at least once a week. Still trying to tweak that to perfection and when I do, I’ll share the updated version here.
Speaking of recipes, I made my first attempt at writing out an approximate recipe for a friend that I’ll likely share here for coconut curry tofu. :) I need to start making food posts in general.
I’ve not been making much art aside from taking the self portraits and some pencil sketches but my parents reached out a couple weeks ago and asked me to paint a portrait of their recently passed pup, Buttons. The supplies just came in the mail so I’ll be slowly starting to work on that (which I’m sure I’ll update here as well)
Looking forward to prepping more posts and putting them up here. Also planning to work on posting videos again on yt, even if it’s only a couple a week. Slowly following through but still following through so that’s what matters to me at the end of the day.
This morning’s breakfast smoothie was a mix of wild (boreal) blueberries, pineapple, strawberries, and coconut shreds with soy protein. I topped it with coconut cashew granola and coconut whipped cream. A delightful way to start the day. :)
Rho, this handsome and loving gargoyle, is looking for a loving forever home.
Update: I’ll be making a separate post in the future but Rho remained with us until his passing in late Feb of 2024. We were thankful and blessed to have him and his grounding stone personality with us for the time that we did.
When Ty and I began working with Rho in early 2021, he was living isolated with minimal care on an enclosed screened porch. His owner had passed away in 2018 and the folks that had inherited him were unable to provide him with the social, physical, and emotional care that he needed. Due to this, he had become shy, untrusting, and reactive to people. Through a slow build-up of positive experiences, we were able to comfortably be in the room with him and give him human social time, introduce him to our cat and pups (which we were told would be an impossibility), and he has only continued to improve and heal over the time that we’ve spent with him.
When we left our temporary living situation in late December of 2021, we took Rho with us with the intention of finding him a new home and to make sure that he was receiving adequate attention in the meantime. While it took him some time to adapt to another new living space, he has adjusted beautifully and is even brave enough to venture back outside when we allow him to do so (though he is understandably reluctant without the company of his human companions). He has met another cat, a plethora of folks that have come through the house where we are staying, and even a rescue tortoise.
We’ve nicknamed Rho as “The Boulder” but also refer to him as a gargoyle in a loving and endearing way as he has become more interactive and shown us his personality. Stoic, reserved, and often very calculated he will loom and peer precariously off the edge of chairs, beds, and furniture. He will calmly and vigilantly stare at you and his surroundings as he pleases from his claimed pedestals. He will stealthily (or not so stealthily when he is in a playful zoom-y mood) appear in spaces and plant himself there firmly and if he is comfortable there is little you can do to convince him to do anything else. “The Boulder” is a character in the children’s show “Avatar: The Last Airbender” (voiced by Mick Foley) that is based on the persona that many recognize as the “The Rock” (Dwayne Johnson). After one of the first nights that Rho had slept on our bed as a completely unmoving rock between the two of us, I had jokingly narrated for him a statement along the lines of “The Boulder is comfortable where he is and will not be disturbed.” Since then, it has stuck and we still regularly narrate his life in this way.
A few notes about Rho and his behavior and needs as we have observed over the past year:
He is a neutered senior, approximately 13-14 years old. As such, expect that his bones and joints may occasionally be sore (especially when there is bad weather).
He needs and flourishes with calm and gentle handling. If you are too vigorous with petting or playing, he may become overstimulated and lightly swat you (or if you continue to push, he may nip). If you are rough or heavy handed, you are likely to damage his trust and undo much of the work that has gone into his recovery.
He tolerates other animals and can co-exist with them but has little interest in socializing with other cats or dogs. While he can co-habitate with other animals (as long as they are calm and he is acclimated slowly) we would prefer to find him a home where he can live out the remainder of his years as the center of attention.
We have done some minor deaf testing and are fairly certain that while he is not completely deaf, he is at least mildly hearing impaired. This doesn’t affect him much aside from occasional surprise if you pet him and he doesn’t know you are there.
He is learning not to overeat and may do so when his environment changes. He will vomit (repeatedly) if he is under stress and we suspect that he may have an intolerance for fish.
He loves small crinkly catnip toys and others with strings or feathers attached. He will suck and drool on them until they are soaking wet so be prepared!
On the note of play, his inhibition control with his claws is still fairly low and he may unintentionally grab you if you are physically holding a toy (versus having it on a string or tossing it to him).
He loves sitting in windows and gazing at the outside world from a safe distance.
We are currently staying just outside the Lynchburg area of Virginia but I would happily travel to deliver him to a promising home. If you have interest or know someone who does and would like to discuss adoption, please don’t hesitate to send me an email at encryptedritual@gmail.com. This is not a first come, first served process as we would like to find him a home that fits him well.
If you’re not looking to adopt but would like to help us, I encourage you to share this blog post around!
Thanks so much. We look forward to updating everyone when he has finally found his forever home! 🌈
Hey there, all you lovely folks.
After months of attempting to tinker with, fix, and re-install the wordpress website that I’d been working on the past few years – I’ve decided that for the time being it’s easier and more efficient to transplant myself back on Squarespace.
At this point, most of the site is operating and functional but you can expect to see a few more sections appear over the upcoming weeks such as:
About Le Rouge Sublet (LRS) & Tangled Vines (TVs) – This section will briefly talk about the internal spaces, beings, and stories that interweave between my partner and I. Because our universes overlap and it is reflected in much of the art, writing, and beyond that is being shared here – I felt that the additional insight is important.
Resources – I intend for the resource section to be something that continues to expand as time goes on. From links to tutorials for art and miscellaneous crafts, links and recommendations for books/videos/etc on self-help and healing, community resources, links for activism and supporting marginalized causes, and more. Long term, I would love for this to be a collaborative effort.
How To Help – For those of you who don’t know, my partner and I lost our home in 2020 early on during covid and have since been living with friends in VA while we get back on our feet. We had started rebuilding a bus as a living space but were not able to complete the project (which was another physical, emotional, and financial blow). This section will have ways that folks can help monetarily or otherwise both for our current situation but also for our long-term goals of building a wildlife sanctuary and safe space for queer and marginalized people.
Links Out – Links to projects worked on by friends, colleagues, and other like-minded people.
WIP Blog – A blog that will serve as both a “sketchbook” and drafting book – where I post doodles and sketches, map out plans for larger projects, and post written or drawn drafts.
In the future, I will be using this main blog to post a variety of content such as but not limited to:
Photo journaling and talking about experiences
Reviewing books, art/crafting supplies, etc.
Articles about human and/or animal behavior, consciousness, queerness, activism and ending oppression, gardening and self-sustained living, really whatever I am compelled to focus on at that time.
Sharing “recipes” (I say, in quotations, because I generally improvise amounts and ingredients every time I cook…haha) and pictures of food that I’ve made or been served
Personal Writing and Poetry
I look forward to talking more on here and becoming a bit more engaging on social media as well. It’s nice to be back and I hope you enjoy your time here.
Be good to yourselves and each other.
Until next time,
-BB
