I've lost myself
again
set sail for nowhere
I found myself
standing
in the doorway
watching your back arch
like a bridge
over my troubled waters
breaking the silence
there is
a numbness in my hands
my head
swimming
and thoughts of the hem
of yhour dress
are further away
but the light around your head
is like a halo
through rippled glass
and it penetrates
this warm empty distance
to cold hard substance
to a feeling
I struggle to hold
and often wish to forget
payphone calls
his fingers fumble for the
receiver
but it's too late
they hear her
they hear her
and now
he's never going home again
the boy's gone wild
the boy's gone wild
there was a hole here
little pieces of me
I offer them to you
freely
I cannot hide forever
and you will put me in
a warm light
fingers turning soil
water
refreshing my old roots
till the leaves wilt
and you prune them
with the gentle precision
of a surgeon
and the touch
of a over
maintain
and
sustain
no never
signs and sighs
of fading motivation
creeping
overwhelming
hunger
followed by
aching nausea
for days
I haven't been sleeping
and I feel
like a useless
sack-o-shit
but at least
now
i'm getting something done
empty rooms
it's been a while
since the gears turned
long enough to get
a solid thought
on paper
maybe one of these days
we'll repair
this broken machine
but not today
vacancy
there's a falling
feeling
in my gut
that twists and curls
to keep from breaking away
in flight
fingers breaking
bones crushing
under the weight
of this strange skin
something I can't recognize
something I don't understand
my head feels like
embers and ash
white, dry, heat
swelling in my skull
I am blind in this fog